‘I couldn’t get the Dutchies' obsession with agendas. Now, it has become my reality’

In mid-summer 2016, Shadi Parsa, her husband, and two kids packed their bags. From bustling Kuala Lumpur, the Iranian family moves to Delft. Eight years later, she feels happy about living in the Netherlands, although Europe still feels a whole world of difference compared to her previous experiences. 

Shadi Parsa works as a content and marketing manager for VSParticle. With a background in English literature, she found her passion in marketing, yet gained diverse experience working in Iran, Malaysia, and the Netherlands. After working as a store manager at the Delft University of Technology, she found her way back to marketing, first working for a robotics company and now in her current position. 

What brought you to the Netherlands? 

“We moved here because my husband, who used to work for a Dutch company, was relocated to Delft, so I also quit my job there and moved to the Netherlands. Initially, it was all about settling in and supporting the family.”

How was moving with two kids?

“At the time, my oldest son was 12, and the youngest 5 years old. Since we planned to stay in the Netherlands for some time, we enrolled them in the Dutch school. For the youngest, it was easier to settle in. The oldest was at the age of starting high school, but before joining, he studied the language in a school for expat kids. It was a huge challenge for them, but now, they have mastered Dutch and are continuing their studies.”

What was your first impression of the Netherlands?

“At the beginning, it felt like living in a postcard, with brick houses and cute canals. Life in Delft flows slower than in Kuala Lumpur and calmer than in Iran. Also, we came in the middle of summer, experiencing long days of light. People seemed to be enjoying and absorbing as much as they could. At the beginning, I didn’t understand why– I realized the reason a few months later as the weather turned gray. 

Initially, I was shocked by how different the nightlife is. In Malaysia and Iran, stores and restaurants are open at all times. Cities are still buzzing if you go out at 10 or 11 pm. While here shops close at six. ”

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What Dutch habits do you not get? 

“Initially, I couldn’t understand the obsession with agendas because it clashed with the spontaneity of Iranian and Malaysian cultures. It was a big adaptation, but after eight years, it became my reality.

Another one is the way Dutch people celebrate birthdays. Not only do you have to congratulate the person who is having their birthday, but you also have to congratulate everyone else in the family. Also, when it is your birthday, you have to treat your colleagues or family with cake, while in Iran or Malaysia, the others spoil you because it is your special day of the year.”

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How about the working environment?

“I noticed many differences. One of the most striking ones is the flat organizational structure; everyone’s voice matters and can bring ideas to the table. It took me some years to get used to it, but I appreciate it a lot as it gives you the freedom to share your ideas with the rest of the team. 

Dutch directness was also something that I initially needed some time to get used to. After years of working in this culture, I came to appreciate frank feedback because you know where you stand. Another positive is the work-life balance. People value their time, and I enjoy this structure, too.”

What habit would you bring from Iran? 

“I would bring a sense of community and hospitality. In my culture, people really go out of their way to make you feel welcome. They open their house to you, treat you, feed you, and create a sense of giving care to people. I still try to put it into practice here, even at the workplace. Surely, I would bring some spontaneity in relationships  too, which I think would be a good mix with Dutch efficiency and work-life balance.”

Do you see yourself living in the Netherlands in the future?

“When we moved here, we decided to stay longer to give our kids some stability. We bought a house and feel happy and lucky about the experience we had so far. I can see ourselves living here for some more years. However, deep down, I feel that, given my love for traveling and having more experiences, I would be open to moving to another country to live a new experience.”